siriusdanger:

ryannxp:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

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omfg

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Anonymous asked:

u take a lot of selfies. do u think ur pretty or smoething? ur not

7mins-in-heaven-w-dean:

hi there, anon. i didn’t realize i took a lot of selfies. thanks for the info. so, your question was whether i think i’m pretty. you already answered that no, i am not. 

and i have to agree, anon. i don’t think i’m pretty bc i’m not.

i’m fat.

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i always have a double chin.

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i constantly look like i haven’t slept in a week bc of my dark circles

and, i always look sunburnt. idfk why

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i have this white line across my nose that makeup can’t cover up 

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i have tons of wrinkles on my forehead. like what the hell? i’m 25

also, it’s the size of fucking texas

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i still don’t know how to smile in pictures bc i hate my fucking teeth

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my feet are flat. my hips are huge. my boobs are weird. i am covered in stretch marks. my voice is grating. my ears stick out two miles from my head. i am always fucking sweating and i’ve been asked if i was pregnant more times than i can count. 

so, you’re right. i’m not pretty. i can’t stand the way i look.

which is why it’s so fucking important that i post “a lot” of selfies. bc, anon, you’d better fucking believe that if i look in the mirror that day and don’t cringe, i’m gonna take a fucking picture to save that tiny little second. and GOD FORBID i show the world that i posses a little self love every once in a fucking while. 

TO ANYONE READING THIS: DON’T EVER LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL ASHAMED FOR LIKING THE WAY YOU LOOK—EVEN IF IT’S JUST FOR A SECOND. IF YOU LOOK NICE, YOU TAKE THAT FUCKING SELFIE AND YOU SHOW IT TO THE GOD DAMN WORLD BC THEY DESERVE TO SEE THE GOD/GODDESS YOU ARE!

that beard finally coming in? go ahead, bro. take a selfie.

you finally got that piercing you’ve been wanting? not really my style, but you’re fucking rocking it. take a selfie.

your boobs look awesome in that shirt? take a selfie.

you finally lose or gain that weight you’ve been working on? take a selfie.

your eyeliner look awesome? your new sunglasses make you look like  a celebrity avoiding the paparazzi? you killing that tux? you feel a tiny, rare level of self love? you always on a high level of self love? you just like your face? 

TAKE A MOTHAFUCKING SELFIE!

thanks for the question, anon. this one’s for you.

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batwynn:

warblerlandredvines36:

allmymisery:

Every single one of your actions suddenly becomes epic when you listen to this

I play this in my car while I’m driving.

I’m getting married and walking down the aisle to this song

I decided this a long time ago

Try petting the cats to this.

Ima just gon reblog this a seventh time okay

I CAN DO
ANNNYYTYYTHIIINNNNGGGGGG!

bonesinmyblood:

fiendishly-nerdy:

if someone “fights like a girl” you should be absolutely terrified of them have ever seen a girl fight they’ll rip your fucking throat out with their hands while the guys are still doing that weird cobra posturing thing for five minutes 

teachers are told to get in between boys when they’re fighting because once they lose eye contact they’ll calm down but teachers are told to stay out of the way of girls fighting because they will fuck your shit up